“is it wrong to make loving you my entire being?”

it is, oh it is. you told me so and i have been telling myself a couple times.

it is wrong and i need to get on with my own life so hopefully ill be worthy of your love and oh my god this is gross. 

huh.

xuan hoa was too calming for me. i got drunk a few times, cried a few times, made a few friends.

still, too calming, and the furthest away from you that i ever was.

i wont tell you that the only thing keeping me from calling while i was in the middle of the woods was this horrible fear of losing you (again? whats left of you am i holding anyway.)

i wont tell you i still keep our chat, keep you pristine in the archive so i cant see it and do something stupid.

i wont tell you your blue profile picture that is one constant thing in my periphery keeps me double check everything in messenger.

i wont tell you my earphones were lost for a few days and those days without keaton henson actually gave me time to breathe a little.

i wont tell you either, i still see you in everyone, i fall in love with every face that remotely resembles yours (in my own interpretation of course), and i get frustrated with how shallow my relationships are, unlike.

ours.

im not crying again.

do you know there was this boy in the other football team that looked so much like you i wanted to hold him forever but hes got a lover so i just danced on my own hoping i would fall back into someones open arms or under someones feet.

do you know the skies were always pretty, even prettier the later days and i put half of the photos onto my story so it would feel like i was sending them to you and you would say they looked beautiful boo.

my autocorrect doesnt recognize your name. i dont know, i dont know if thats good or not.

i know youve got many other things to put on your mind and its easy to forget what we used to have. and that im just wallowing in this misery, listening and not listening to old songs because they all remind me of us.

im lost though. lost, thrown away, this tiny peck of star, probably dead a million years ago?

obligated newly released upbeat edm song with somewhat relatable lyrics.

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