fool

it is midnight, you promised her not to stay up this late.

your skin is clearing, you are moving to a home with souls you love, you are cleansing yourself of tar dutifully collected, and you havent missed one class except that one which doesnt even count into the credits

hopes are held up high; maybe you are getting fine

 

yet:

your hands find the keys like theyve been engraved under the consciousness of your fluttering fingertips,

the initials of his name still ringing desperately true and impeccably loud

“he is the one, he is the one, he was the one-”

your mind knowing itself, takes a different image of some other boy, some other meaningless boy

and put it onto his skeleton of a brain.

would he hold like this, would he kiss like this, would he fuck like this

would his arms be like grape vines, would the words from his mouth be like ambrosia, slurring your tongue with irresistible poison like he always did

take him apart and put him together again, what could you see god, the insides of his thoughts unguarded, heavy dreams pulling him off his throne, drawing figures of long forgotten titans hidden so well

and the memories start chewing up the space

and you relapse into binging on emotions

and heras seed starts sprouting on muddied promises,

that maybe, maybe it was all you, it was you all along

 

you wish you could be as stoic as your cheeks right now, still staying void of tears

but he is worth all the falling.

he is worth everything.

relationship status: single

i saw your relationship status the day before

nothing new, still “single”

a tiny little reminder, barely visible

but you put it up again.

 

our love, well, was only our business

though your friends still urge you to get attached

(yes, another thing i noticed.)

 

please do hurt me again

through subtle yet penetrating appearances

please kill me

softly

with your love

for if this is truly the end

then dead i will be

in your arms.

Haven

Em luôn bảo, để lên tới phòng chị là phải qua cả một cửa ải chông gai, và em thấy mình như hiệp sĩ lao lên toà tháp vời vợi với mục đích cứu rỗi nàng Rapunzel khỏi mọi nguy hiểm.

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